Advice for Republicans "If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it." Calvin Coolidge, US President Americanism "I don't know much about Americanism, but it's a damn good word with which to carry an election." Warren G. Harding, US President Ari Fleischer "I guess if Ari had to rebel, being a Republican is better than being on drugs, but not by much." - - Alan Fleischer (father of White House press secretary Ari Fleischer) Attention Span "The attention span of the American people is 'Which movie is coming out next week?' " Republican Sen. Alan Simpson Bigot? "I want to say this about my state: When Strom Thurmond ran for president, we voted for him. We're proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn't have had all these problems over all these years, either," Trent Lott These are not bad people. All they are concerned about is to see that their sweet little girls are not required to sit in school alongside some big overgrown Negroes. President Eisenhower "Racial discrimination does not always violate public policy." Trent Lott "I've always believed Sen. Lott's comments were meant to flatter Sen. Thurmond at his 100th birthday party and were in no way intended to embrace repudiated policies that once divided our nation." GOP Sentor Lindsey Graham (Republican that took Thurman's place) "Fuck the jews. They don't vote for us anyway." --James Baker to George Bush Sr in 1992, according to William Safire in the New York Time. Note Baker was Sec of State under Bush I and Campaign Manager for Bush II and GOP Sen from Tenn "But I do know that it's true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could, if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down," Bill Bennett, Education Secretary under Bush I Source:9-29-05 "Morning in America" Radio show Blessed "Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt." Herbert Hoover, US President Breasts "God, was she a good player. I was so fascinated in watching her bid and play that I could hardly concentrate on her breasts." --Senator Bob Packwood (R-OR), commenting on his bridge opponent in his diaries, as printed in the Washington Post "When you see a blonde with great tits and a great ass, you say to yourself, 'Hey, she must be stupid or must have nothing else to offer', which maybe is the case many times." Arnold Schwarzenegger July, 2003 Esquire Magazine Interview) Bush, George W. Jr "What's his accomplishment?....That he's no longer an obnoxious drunk?" Ron Reagan, Jr. Bush Jr? "It's political Daddyism and it's as old as demagogues and despotism." Az Barry M. Goldwater Business "Perhaps one of the most important accomplishments of my administration has been minding my own business." Calvin Coolidge, US President Capital Punishment "Capital punishment is our way of demonstrating the sanctity of life." -Orrin Hatch Citizans "I don't know that atheists should be considered citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God."-- George Bush Clinton's Chances in 1996 "Bill Clinton will lose to any Republican nominee who doesn't drool on stage." Wall Street Journal editorial Source:CNN Clinton Econmic Plan **First, when Clinton won the White House, the federal budget deficit was at a historic high of $290 billion, 10 million Americans were out of work and the nation's economic growth rate under the outgoing Republican administration was the lowest in more than half a century. Clinton introduced his controversial economic plan that raised the income taxes of the richest 1.4 percent of Americans. We immediately heard from the Gloom and Doom congressional Republicans, every one of whom voted against the Clinton plan. Sen. Phil Gramm, R-Texas, announced, "This tax bill is a one-way ticket to a recession." House Republican Whip Newt Gingrich predicted, "This is the Democrat machine's recession, and each one of them will be held personally accountable." What followed is unarguable: creation of more than 22 million new jobs; the nation's lowest unemployment rate in 30 years; the lowest unemployment rate among women in 40 years; and the lowest Hispanic and African-American unemployment rate in history. The nation went from the largest budget deficits in history to the largest budget surpluses in history, while the average family's income went up more than $5,000.** Clinton Impeachment (Look Who is Talking) "This nation sits at a crossroads. One direction points to the higher road of the rule of law. Sometimes hard, sometimes unpleasant, this path relies on truth, justice and the rigorous application of the principle that no man is above the law.....No man is above the law, and no man is below the law. That's the principle that we all hold very dear in this country." Rep. Tom Delay (R-TX) Cotton Underwear "Half the world does not know the joy of wearing cotton underwear" --Texas Sen. Phil Gramm Dead "When I'm not a politician, I'll be dead." Az Sen Barry M. Goldwater Dishonest and Illegal "We do many things at the federal level that would be considered dishonest and illegal if done in the private sector." Donald T. Regan, President Reagan's Chief of Staff Dole "In a recent fire Bob Dole's library burned down. Both books were lost. And he hadn't even finished coloring one of them." Jack Kemp Episcopalians,Presbyterians,Methodists,Antichrist "You say you're supposed to be nice to the Episcopalians and the Presbyterians and the Methodists and this, that, and the other thing. Nonsense. I don't have to be nice to the spirit of the Antichrist. I can love the people who hold false opinions but I don't have to be nice to them." --Pat Robertson, The 700 Club, January 14, 1991 Ends "About the time we can make the ends meet, somebody moves the ends. Herbert Hoover, US President "The human body has two ends on it: one to create with and one to sit on. Sometimes people get their ends reversed. When this happens they need a kick in the seat of the pants." Theodore Roosevelt, US President Enron "Sometimes things aren't exactly black and white when it comes to accounting procedures." George Bush Jr. 7-8-2002 The Democrats have continued on their course of the politics of personal destruction.They ought to stop wasting taxpayer money on phony investigations and start working on the energy policy we sent to the Hill. --Mary Matalin, a top aid to Cheney/Bush---and rightwing news-show pundit who eagerly used personal Clinton matters to try to destroy them--- regarding the GAO's precident-setting demand for information from VP Cheney regarding his secret energy-committee policy-setting meetings. Exporting American Jobs "Now, to get back to the question about outsourcing, I think outsourcing is a growing phenomenon, but it's something that we should realize is probably a plus for the economy in the long run." Gregory Mankiw, Chairman of the President's Council of Economic Advisers, Feb 9th, 2004 Face "If I were two faced, would I be wearing this one?" Abraham Lincoln Feedom "I feel the best way to ensure Americans' freedom is to tighten restrictions on that freedom in any way possible. Only through wiretaps, illegal searches and seizures, unfettered government intrusion, a controlled media and a complete crackdown on free speech can we ensure the liberties of all people." (John Ashcroft) Federal Goverment "I AM the federal government." House Majority Leader Tom Delay, when told it was against a federal law to smoke his cigar in a no-smoking area, Washington Post, May 2003 Feminism "Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians." --Pat Robertson at the 1992 Republican National Convention "Most of these feminists are radical, frustrated lesbians, many of them, and man-haters, and failures in their relationships with men, and who have declared war on the male gender. The Biblical condemnation of feminism has to do with its radical philosophy and goals. That's the bottom line." --Jerry Falwell "The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians." -- Pat Robertson, fundraising letter, 1992 Gay Marriage "I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman" -- Arnold Schwarzenegger Golf "I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators." Gerald R. Ford, US President Gridlock "Our intent will not be to create gridlock. Oh, except maybe from time to time." Bob Dole, on working with the Clinton administration Hate "I want you just to let a wave of intolerance wash over you. I want you to let a wave of hatred wash over you. Yes, hate is good...We have a Biblical duty, we are called by God to conquer this country. We don't want equal time. We don't want pluralism." Randall Terry, founder of anti-abortion group, Operation Rescue, The News-Sentinel, Fort Wayne, Indiana, 8/16/93 Homosexual "Many of those people involved with Adolph Hitler were Satanists, many of them were homosexuals-- the two things seem to go together." --Pat Robertson, "The 700 Club," 1/21/93 Honor "I'm the only person of distinction who has ever had a depression named for him." Herbert Hoover, US President Hurricane Katrina "If you'll look at my lovely FEMA attire you'll really vomit. I am a fashion god… Anything specific I need to do or tweak? Do you know of anyone who dog-sits? … Can I quit now? Can I come home? … I'm trapped now, please rescue me." Ex-FEMA Director Michael Brown, in various emails to colleagues and friends in the immediate aftermath of Hurricane Katrina "Considering the dire circumstances that we have in New Orleans, virtually a city that has been destroyed, things are going relatively well." FEMA Director Michael Brown, Sept. 1, 2005 "What I'm hearing which is sort of scary is that they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway so this (chuckle) – this is working very well for them." Former First Lady Barbara Bush, on the hurricane evacuees at the Astrodome in Houston, Sept. 5, 2005 "Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?" House Majority Leader Tom Delay (R-TX), to three young hurricane evacuees from New Orleans at the Astrodome in Houston, Sept. 9, 2005 Income Levels "When I see a first-class individual who makes $80,000 a year, he's lower middle class. When I see someone who is making anywhere from $300,000 to $750,000 a year, that's middle class. When I see anyone above that, that's upper middle class." --Rep. Fred Heineman (R-NC), explaining that his yearly income of $180,000 leaves him short of middle-class status Intelligent Work "I am not going to give you a number for it because it's not my business to do intelligent work." Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, asked to estimate the number of Iraqi insurgents while testifying before Congress, Feb. 16, 2005 Internet "The Internet is a gateway to get on the net." Bob Dole Iraq War "Nothing is more important in the face of war than cutting taxes." Denney Hastert GOP Speaker Of The House 4-4-2003 Jobs "Many people have left their jobs for the more profitable one of selling apples" GOP President Hoover 12-2-30 "When you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, 'Certainly I can!' Then get busy and find out how to do it." Theodore Roosevelt, US President Landslide "You will expect me to discuss the late election. Well, as nearly as I can learn, we did not have enough votes on our side." Herbert Hoover, US President Last Person "The President is the last person in the world to know what the people really want and think." James A Garfield, US President Labor "Labor disgraces no man; unfortunately, you occasionally find men who disgrace labor." Ulysses S. Grant, US President Lawlessness "When lawlessness is abroad in the land, the same thing will happen here that happened in Nazi Germany. Many of those people involved with Adolph Hitler were Satanists, many of them were homosexuals-- the two things seem to go together." --Pat Robertson Lie "That's not a lie, It's a terminological inexactitude." Alexander Haig "A number of things that I put in (the diary) were inaccurate, and some of them simply weren't true....On occasion, I discovered I would recount conversations that simply didn't happen.'' Sen. Bob Packwood, referring to his infamous diaries in which he boasted of his sexual dalliances with staff members Life's Purpose I outlived the bastards. Herbert Hoover, US President Lincoln "If Lincoln were alive today, he'd be turning over in his grave. (on Nixon and Watergate) Gerald R. Ford, US President Lost and Found "Wherever I have gone in this country, I have found Americans" Alfred Landon Losing Republican Candidate 1936 Lunch "The three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency. Where else can you get an earful, a bellyful and a snootful at the same time?" Gerald R. Ford, US President Marijuana "Marijuana leads to homosexuality ... and therefore to AIDS." Carlton Turner White House Drug Czar under Reagan http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Carlton.Turner.Quote.96DE Men and Fish All men are equal before fish. Herbert Hoover, US President Men That Support Choice "Men in the pro-choice movement are either women trapped in men's bodies... or younger guys who are like camp followers looking for easy sex." --Rep. Bob Dornan (R-CA) Morning "Meet the sun everyday as if it could cast a ballot." Henry Cabot Lodge National Peach Month "It may come as a shock to you who live out in the real world, but occasionally we do something up here. Not often, I admit, but sometimes. For example, I think the House has passed National Peach Month so far this year and we expect to act on it soon." --Senate Majority Leader (and Presidential candidate) Robert Dole of Kansas in 1982 Nixon "I wouldn't trust Nixon from here to that phone." Az. Sen Barry M. Goldwater "Nixon was the most dishonest individual I have ever met in my life. He lied to his wife, his family, his friends, his colleagues in the Congress, lifetime members of his own political party, the American people and the world. Az. Sen Barry M. Goldwater "I believe the second half of the 20th century will be known as the age of Nixon" Bob Dole No Small Difficulty "I am trying to do two things: dare to be a radical and not a fool, which is a matter of no small difficulty." James A. Garfield, US President Orgies I even take the position that sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged." Justice Antonin Scalia Source:Harvard University 9/30/04 Pay Raise The Congress didn't vote themselfs a pay raise. We simply did not deny ourselves that normal increase in our cost of living that every other worker in America not only expects but insists upon. Rep House Leader Dick Armey on Meet the Pree after bring Congress's salary to $155,000 a year. Playboy "Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages." Az Sen Barry M. Goldwater Political Analyst "I'm not in the game, but I'm in the bleachers." - BOB DOLE, now a political analyst on television. Press Coverage "I won't say that the papers misquote me, but I sometimes wonder where Christianity would be today if some of those reporters had been Matthew, Mark, Luke and John." Az Sen Barry M. Goldwater Public Life For A Republican "No public man can be just a little crooked." Herbert Hoover, US President Public Money "Nothing is easier than spending public money. It does not appear to belong to anybody. The temptation is overwhelming to bestow it on somebody." President Calvin Coolidge Reaganomics The prosperity of the middle class depends on the good fortune and LIGHT taxes of the rich. Andrew Mellon, Treasury Secretary under Coolidge and Hoover 1922-32, The years leading to the GREAT Depression Religious Right "On religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being. But like any powerful weapon, the use of God's name on one's behalf should be used sparingly. The religious factions that are growing throughout our land are not using their religious clout with wisdom. They are trying to force government leaders into following their position 100 percent. If you disagree with these religious groups on a particular moral issue, they complain, they threaten you with a loss of money or votes or both. I'm frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in A, B, C, and D. Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me? And I am even more angry as a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group who thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll call in the Senate. I am warning them today: I will fight them every step of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans in the name of 'conservatism.'" Az Sen Barry M. Goldwater Republican Friends "I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they're the ones who keep me walking the floor at nights! " Warren G. Harding, US President Santa "A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus." Herbert Hoover, US President Separation of church and state "There is no such thing as separation of church and state in the Constitution. It is a lie of the Left and we are not going to take it anymore." --Pat Robertson, November 1993 during an address to the American Center for Law and Justice "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..." Shaving Cream "If you don't mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream." Az. Sen Barry M. Goldwater Sleep "I knew that my staying up would not change the [election] result if I were defeated, while if elected I had a hard day ahead of me. So I thought a night's rest was best in any event. Benjamin Harrison, US President Sort Of Thing "People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like" Abraham Lincoln Soviet Domination There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe and there will never be under a Ford administration. President Ford Presidential Debate, 10-6-1976 Speech "I have noticed that nothing I never said ever did me any harm." Calvin Coolidge, US President "When a man is asked to make a speech, the first thing he has to decide is what to say." Gerald R. Ford, US President States Rights "My party is demonstrating that they are for states' rights unless they don't like what states are doing." CHRISTOPHER SHAYS, Republican congressman of Connecticut, on the Schiavo case. Terrorist 'The NEA (National Education Association) is a terrorist organization." Education Secretary Rod Paige National Governors Association, Feb 23 2004 Time "Things are more like they are now than ever before" GOP President Dwight D. Eisenhower Tobacco "We know it's not good for kids, but a lot of other things aren't good. ...Some would say milk's not good." Bob Dole Troop Support "We can support our troops without supporting our president." FORMER Senate Majority Leader Trent "Extra Starch" Lott 1999 Troubles "Four-fifths of all our troubles would disappear, if we would only sit down and keep still." Calvin Coolidge, US President "Never go out to meet trouble. If you just sit still, nine cases out of ten, someone will intercept it before it reaches you." Calvin Coolidge, US President Truth "The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable." James A. Garfilds, US President Tunes "I know only two tunes: one of them is ÒYankee Doodle, and the other isn't." Ulysses S. Grant, US President Unemployment "When more & more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results." -Calvin Coolidge Vote "A vote is like a rifle; its usefulness depends upon the character of the user." Theodore Roosevelt, US President Wiretaps "President Washington, President Lincoln, President Wilson, President Roosevelt have all authorized electronic surveillance on a far broader scale." Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez, testifying before Congress (For You Stupid Ass Republicians, please note that phones were not invented when Washington and Lincoln were president) Women "There are so many women on the floor of Congress, it looks like a mall." --Rep. Henry Hyde (R-IL), repeating a joke he heard Last Updated Apr 29, 2008
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